Here, By the Grace of God

I am removing the veil of anonymity that I have as a grateful recovering alcoholic. My goal in doing this is to remove the shame that shrouds addiction. My fear tells me I should be silent, but my heart… Hell No! I believe that I need to help reinvent society's perception of those in recovery or those seeking recovery. I'm sick of the stigma. No, I'm not sick of it… I'm angry at it! I believe that the stigma is what is keeping people in the shadows of their disease, afraid to seek help. 

Some friends say that it isn't worth it, that I risk losing my standing as a reputable member of my community, being labeled an alcoholic and having my clarity or competence as a decent member of society questioned.

I say… screw that! 
This is my truth. I am a beautiful woman. I am a fantastic mom. I am a reliable co-worker. I am an honest, helpful and committed resident of Whitman. Is losing my anonymity worth it? I say if it helps save someone through sharing my personal experience, then not only is it worth it, but it is necessary.

My friends in recovery are not heathens. They are just like you and I, attempting to make the best of their life. Some of them may have struggled with alcohol, drugs, mental illness, a difficult childhood, or nothing at all. Perhaps living on life's terms simply became too overwhelming and they lost their footing. Was it a traumatic departure of a loved one, divorce, lost income, illness, etc?

 We all have some difficulty of one nature or another to contend with. Why not let us all acknowledge that we are on a journey of recovery and self-discovery of some kind? Why not let us all create a space where we commit to bringing truth to our existence, live it more authentically, and support our neighbors in doing the same?  Please join me in encouraging and supporting those in our community that have chose to better themselves, which in turn will better ourselves.

Here, by the grace of God;  go I,


Dear Life... WTF!

Dear Life… WTF!
I believed that if I did what "conventional" wisdom told me to do that everything would just work out the way it's "supposed" to and l'd live happily ever after. I thought that if I was the good girl, the A-student, the great athlete, and graduated college I'd automatically be successful. I even began a successful career, found a good man who became my husband, bought a great home and had three amazing children. Isn't that suppose to result in never-ending peace, love, and joy?

No, I didn't count on those miscarriages, the heartache of losing my sister to suicide, the real estate market bust, the economic depression, lost job, lost income, failed marriage, alcoholism, or the complete loss of my emotional center. No, nothing could have prepared me for those many bumps along my path.

Yet, I am still here. I am breathing, I am living. In fact, life, I am thriving!
You tried to throw me curve balls, didn't ya? Thought you could trip me up, but you didn't count on me deciding that I was worth more than those pitfalls. They may have left a few ugly bruises, but guess what… bruises heal!

I am here to say that my path is lit brighter than ever.
I ought to thank you, life. In fact…. I ought to throw my arms around you and say "I love you!" That's how I feel! I love you, truly and deeply! You've shown me how worthy I am of happiness, love, peace, and authentic joy in my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You've taught me how to love myself profoundly. To continue on this journey called life.

I eagerly await what may lay around each bend. Will it be something to help me grow stronger, wiser, and more loving, or will it be a great slice of chocolate ganashe cake that I can share with a circle of women who inspire and support me? I'll take either… cuz that is what life is about. I've found… it's about remaining open to the mystery of each experience you throw in my path and how I will use it to make me a better human and in turn share my experience, strength and hope to inspire others along their path.

So, Life… all I can say to you is... Bring it on!

With love, gratitude and continuous faith,


Where does Yoga come in with Personal Healing and Recovery?

The Dictionary Defines Yoga as the following...



noun, ( sometimes initial capital letter)

1.a school of Hindu philosophy advocating and prescribing a course of physical and mental disciplines for attaining liberation from the material world.

2.any of the methods or disciplines prescribed, especially a series of postures and breathing exercises practiced to achieve control of the body and mind, tranquility, etc.

3.union of the self with the Supreme Being or ultimate principle.

I make no claim that yoga is the answer to a happier, healthier life. I only say it could be a potential, compliment to any journey of healing and transformation that you may be on.

I am not a yogi who claims enlightenment. I don't carry a perfect downward dog. I don't and can't meditate everyday in a fashion that I'd like. My kids irritate me. My job isn't fulfilling. I cry, swear and even eat fried foods (gasp!) But I do integrate Yoga and my Program of Recovery into my every day... 

This is my life and I choose to make it A Way Of Love. I love my own Program of Recovery and I love Yoga. Take from it what you may... i will continue to walk my walk and talk my talk... the goal of AWOL yoga is for people to feel less alone on their own healing journey, whatever that may be. I love to meet like-minded people and, especially, love to connect so that we all feel less alone on this journey, called life. Feel free to reach out and connect... we will make this journey A Way Of Love, together

Yours in Hope,


Here I am...

...And I am freaking out! I don't feel  like I am ready to "expose" myself. Will I ever be ready? Probably not. But, I can't deny that life has brought me down this path for a reason. I have, yet, to be shown where this, or I, will go... but this is a start. 

Not 3 short hours ago I got the call that my best friend lost her brother last night to an overdose. It's devastating. Their lives are rocked to the core. And all of us on the periphery of their brokenness are feeling nothing but helpless. They will ask themselves if this could have been avoided. Could anything have been done to prevent this. The answers won't come. 

I know this because my family and I have been through this too. Many of you have been touched by this devastation. Our children ask questions of what happened to Auntie or Cousin or...      Still the answers are hard to come by. 

I still don't have answers. But I do have a solution... for myself, and that is one of personal healing and transformation. I know, in my heart, that I can only continue to walk my walk and hope that others, like Adam or Kathy or someone else who is suffering might see that living life on life's terms isn't so bad... that they don't have to go it alone. Healing is possible. Yes it's a work in progress and not always easy, but it is possible.

Let's make a go of this thing called life and make it A Way Of Love.